you Know You're A Mom When...

You know you’re a Mom when...

You wake up before your alarm clock and while your body still sleeps
You find yourself in the kitchen pouring milk and forget how you got there
You find yourself bombarded with “urgent” questions the minute you sit down on the potty
You call it “the potty” even among other adults
You can nurse a baby, fix your daughter’s hair, and sip coffee all at once
You wish you could be put in timeout instead of the ones who are sitting there
You find that your once filled plate of food has been eaten, but none of it went in your mouth
You discover yourself snacking off your kids’ plates in kind
The smell of someone else’s poop indicates what time of day it is, or where you are in your daily routine
Apple juice is one of the beverages you offer your guests, along side coffee, tea, & wine
You find yourself using your shirt to wipe someone else’s nose
You discover baby’s breakfast on your shoulder after you arrive where you were headed
Pee on the floor (or elsewhere) means right of passage to being big kids and wearing undies
You catch a glimpse of yourself doing the “yay for potty” dance in the hall mirror
You realize you just spent $50 to entice your child to poop
Your kitchen timer is your best friend, that is, until Daddy gets home. 
You learn speaking “cutesy” comes naturally, and even unbidden, and sometimes at the wrong time
You find yourself staring at your “mini-me” wondering if you really do sound like that
You crack up at nonsense and your child makes you smile even when you aren’t with them
Making it out the door with everyone’s shoes on is not a requirement but a miracle
Being on time looks more like 10 minutes late... on really good days
You hear yourself saying, “Stay close to Mommy,” to whomever happens to be with you
Your only response to the screaming child at the supermarket is relief that it’s not yours
Chicken nuggets and hot dogs live in your freezer
You can actually hear 4 people talking to you at once and know who needs what
You fall into bed without batting an eye at the Elmo tooth brush, action figures, My Little Ponies, cheerios, or the “Emergency!” screaming fire engine that beat you to it
You find yourself vacillating between immense guilt over not meeting everyone’s needs, and intense love that is unconditional and motivates you to do it all over again tomorow
You find yourself eating all your “smart” words and revising all the “intelligent” parenting vows you made before it was your genes running amuck for all the world to comment on

But most of all, you know you’re a Mom when you cannot imagine life without it all, and wouldn’t trade any of it for life before “Mom” prefaced your given name.